The Circle of Love

"Train up children in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

There are these seven children that I love, seven children that many others in our church have come to love.  We met them a year-and-a-half ago when they landed with their mother at a shelter for homeless women and children where we were doing some volunteer work.  They had arrived at the shelter after spending a couple of months without a home--for a period of time living in an abandoned building and then in their car.  It was desperation that finally drove them through the doors of the shelter.  Their single mother was at the end of her rope.  They had nothing but the dirty clothes on their back at the time, no food, no diapers for the youngest ones who were 2-years-old and a 1-year-old, no formula, no baby food, no sippy cups.  They were dirty and starving and shell-shocked from the trauma and chaos of their lives.  Ever so slowly, we began to build a relationship, to offer love without judgment as much as that was humanly possible.  It began with getting some church volunteers to be here when we brought the children to the church some afternoons and began to play with them, to read to them, to have snack for them, to give out hugs and smiles, to provide hands to hold and laps to sit in and arms to embrace.  Then it was bringing them all to the Vacation Bible School at the church.  Slowly, ever so slowly, the mom began to trust us and to entrust her children to our care.  When she finally got an apartment in one of Birmingham's housing projects, we helped her move and helped furnish and stock the place.  That happened early in the summer a year ago and throughout the next couple of months, we tried to offer her respite from the constant presence of seven children all under the age of 8 and offer the children a place of fun, safety, nourishment and love by bringing them to the church a couple of times each week through the summer.  When fall came, we invited the children to come to the church every Wednesday night for dinner and children's programming.  Slowly, ever so slowly, the children began to see IPC as "their" church.  During the academic year last year, the youngest child, 1-and-a-half and then 2-years-old came to the IPC Day School four days a week.  This child, who had developmental delays because he had been so premature, began to blossom and grow in confidence and ability and joy.  The children developed a full and easy trust of us.  Small hands slipped easily into ours; little arms wrapped around our necks for love and safety; our laps were full of children wanting to be held.  We just kept trying to love--to pour love out on them and they returned it a hundred-fold.

The life they live at home has alternately been stable, and chaotic. Both parents have been in and out of jail; both parents have taken steps forward and back several times.  The apartment has sometimes been without food or utilities.  They have seen some violence in their home and in their neighborhood.  And we have continued to try to love--not just the children but their often-dysfunctional parents.  We have been frustrated, joyful, despairing, proud, disappointed, overwhelmed, beyond our abilities and our comfort zones.  We have learned more than any of us wanted to know about the complexity of life lived in generational poverty in our city.  But we have kept loving as best we could.  And here is the miracle: it is making a difference.  The mom is now in a GED class four days a week, moving toward taking the test in early December.  The children are all in school and doing well.  Life is stable, for the most part.  The periods of chaos are much fewer and much farther apart than they once were.  Just last night, as we were preparing for them to go home after dinner and programming at the church, I looked around for two of the boys who were not standing right with the rest of the children and they were a few feet away, kneeling in prayer.  What their prayers were about, only God knows.  But they knew they were in a place where prayer was not just okay but encouraged; they knew that they were safe and loved.  But here is the most important thing of all: when we first met these children at the homeless shelter, on one ride back to the shelter after an afternoon of playing at the church we were singing songs in the church van, one of which was "Jesus Loves Me" and one of the children said: "No he don't."  And here they were, a year-and-a-half later, not only believing that God loves them, but that God listens to them, knows them by name, hears their prayers.  That can only be the result of the transforming love of God in Jesus Christ.

There are these seven children that I love--that so many of us at IPC have come to love and spend time with and we have received the deep joy and blessing of being loved in return.  You can be part of the circle of love with this family.  We need folks who are willing to hold hands, to hug, to offer laps, to sit with a child at dinner on a Wednesday night and talk about the day, to read to the children, to sing with them, to laugh and giggle and tickle, to dry tears, to play and be silly, to mentor and give boundaries, to help children see that there are choices they can make that can help lead out of generational poverty, to encourage the mom and dad in their attempts to move forward and to build a better, fuller, more abundant life for their family, to help these parents experience what it is like to be loved without judgment and condition--to know what it is to be forgiven and to have a second or a third or a fourth chance, to give the whole family the experience of grace, to simply share the love and joy of life lived together in a family of faith.  They are part of our family.  They are our children--yours and mine.  I can promise you so much love in return.  If you want to be a part of this circle of love, call me or email me.  There is always room for more loving arms to hold and be held in return.  It is a beautiful thing.